Losing My Wife to Heaven

It was on a Thursday morning when I discovered that my wife had left this world and went to be with Jesus in heaven. I know, people say that all the time when a loved one dies. Things like, “Oh well, she’s/he’s in a better place now.” Or maybe, “We’re sending our thoughts and prayers to you and your family.” What thoughts? And just what does a thought do to make you feel better about losing someone you have spent the majority of your life with? Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not bitter; I’m over joyed that my wife is in heaven with Jesus. Her presence there is better than at any time in her physical life. How could I be bitter about that? I simply wanted to say how silly those responses sound on the receiving end. What about the person who wasn’t saved and didn’t know Jesus? Are they really in a better place now? I can say with certainty they are not.

This is why it is so important to me that people know Jesus as their Lord and savior. Listen to the person who is telling you about Jesus. He, Jesus, is the hope of this world; He is the savior for us and paid the price on the cross for our sin. Everyone born into this life is born with original sin. It’s not some scare tactic fairytale. God’s not in the business of scaring people into heaven or into a relationship with Him. His love for us is so great that He sent His only Son to die on a cross in a most humiliating manner. His death on that cross paid the debt owed to God the Father for the sin we were born with. His rising from the grave three days latter defeated death and gave us eternal life with Him when we accept Him as Lord and savior of our life. And, I’m sure most nonbelievers have heard or believe themselves that this is all a bunch of bogus nonsense. But I myself and millions of others around this world are walking and talking proof that it is not. You can be sure death is final and there are no second chances. There is no salvation after your physical death. And, following death is judgement as Hebrews 9:27-28 tells us,

And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment, so also Christ was offered once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people.

My wife, Jeanne, knew this; she had been saved by the grace of Jesus Christ and His paid debt on that cross and His resurrection from the grave. She is with Jesus right now and would have absolutely no desire to return to this life if it was offered. Jeanne always put others ahead of her when it came to anything. She always made sure others were taken care of before she was. She was always there when I needed her and she always took good care of me when I was ill or not feeling well. She was my in home nurse and there to help me recover. She stayed home and raised three children with me while I worked long hours and pinched pennies to make the ends meet. Of course, things weren’t always peaches and cream and we certainly had our differences. But, with Jesus at the center of our marriage, we always made things right.

The first twelve years of our marriage were really bad. I was struggling with PTSD following my time in Vietnam with the Marines and didn’t realize it or wouldn’t come to grips with it. I drank alcohol all the time and those early years were terrible for her but she stayed with me. She never considered leaving when her and my family encouraged her to leave me. We had three young children and they also suffered along with her and she did everything she could to make life bearable for her and the children.

It was the mid-1970s and the recession in the country was crazy deep. There were no jobs to be found and my unemployment compensation was running out. The State enrolled me in a mechanical/architecture drawing class that lasted about seven months and it was supposed to provide jobs for us but that never happened. I decided to rejoin the military and Jeanne said if that’s what we had to do to survive, then she was with me. Well, that was a good financial decision but a bad one for my drinking problem. That atmosphere just added to my desire to drink. Those four years were horror for her and I was oblivious to her pain. By the time I left we had three children and she did more than most wives and mothers had to do to keep things together.

Four years later on a Sunday morning following an all day drunk, I heard Jesus ask me if I was ready to allow Him to deal with my alcohol problem and I said yes, Lord. It was done; I never had a desire to drink any form of alcohol again. In her own words, I had put her through twelve years of hell. But she never caved and thought about walking away. Her only issue with my salvation was she always wanted to be the one to change me. I never knew that until she mentioned it in a group Bible study one evening. But she understood that isn’t how it works and God had His own plan.

Her final few months were hard as she began to develop dementia and wasn’t really herself. We had to place her in a nursing home so she would receive the care she needed. I spent as much time with her as possible and many times she would be sleeping but I would sit next to her bed and watch the TV and thought I would be there if she woke up. Sometimes she did and other times she didn’t. My children spent as much time with her as they could as well as the grandchildren. We knew the end was coming and we were just trying to put it off as long as possible but Jesus knows the exact time of our death and there’s nothing we can do to change that or extend our time here. But again, if we knew here what lies ahead for us, why would we ever want to stay here.

I simply told her on those final days that Jesus was waiting for her with arms wide open. She knew that and I’m sure deep inside her she was ready. She finally slipped away early on Thursday morning August 7^th, 2025. The hardest thing I had to do following that was make the phone calls to my three children. It was my son’s birthday and he took it extra hard because of that. But, with the grace of God and all His goodness, He is walking us through this each and every day. I thank God that my wife has been rescued from this sometime cruel life and is now at home with Him in heaven. I’ve been a Christian for over forty years and I am sure and without any doubt that a Christian at death is ushered right into the presence of Jesus in heaven. But, when you lose someone this close to you, it brings about a whole new concept of heaven and its reality. We had 53 years together and I don’t regret any of them. Even those early years because of how she managed those terrible years. She died two days after our 53^rd anniversary.

I could not have asked for a better partner for this life. Trust me, God knows exactly what he is doing. Jeanne is missed tremendously by all of us but the peace we all have is knowing that we simply lost her to heaven and Jesus.

 -Bill Petite