Facing the Loss of a Loved One

When facing the loss of a loved one, it will be the most challenging situation in a person’s life. In 2020, many family members have lost their lives to COVID-19 and many family members have had to suffer that loss. It is an emotionally painful and hurtful experience. That loved one is gone and we don’t have the opportunity to see them, spend time with them or just know they are there. Death is painful; it’s so hard to adjust to and when it’s a spouse or a parent, it’s even harder. Yes, 2020 has been a year filled with the pain and hurt of losing loved ones.

But death can come in a variety of ways such as auto accidents, war and other health problems. But the pain and hurt are the same regardless of how a loved one might die. Death is certainly no stranger to me. When I was 15, my father died in an auto accident. My brother was 13 at the time. My mother, who was a Christian, would take the time, in the sleepless early morning hours, explaining to us what the Bible says about death and what happens following it.

Two years later, when I was 17, my mother died from cancer. The following year, when I was 18, I found my self in Vietnam with the Marines and surrounded by death. So yes, death is not a stranger to me. But it’s important to know and understand what really happens at death. Those times spent listening to my mother talk to us about it always stuck with me. But more importantly, it is my relationship with Jesus and knowing His word, the Bible, and what it says concerning what happens following death.

I’m sure there is someone reading this who is thinking, “This is a morbid topic to be writing about.” Yes, it is but it is something which happens to every person who has lived. The ratio is one per person. Until Jesus returns, for every person born, that person will face death. But for the Christian who has put his/her life in the hands of Jesus, life continues after death. It’s eternal life with Jesus in heaven and no, it’s not a made up Christian fairy tale as some would claim. The Apostle Paul gives us some insight with the following verses,

So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord.  For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.   2 Cor 5:6-8 NKJV 

 There are some who believe dead is dead and when we die, there is nothing. Many others believe we sleep until the time which Jesus returns. This is often referred to as soul sleep. But Paul’s word’s say nothing about eternal death or soul sleep. Absent from the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. The literal Greek translation reads like this, ‘to go away from home out of the body and to come home to the Lord.’ At death, we leave this body of flesh, blood and bones behind and we are given a new spiritual eternal body in heaven. The first verse in 2 Cor 5 speaks about this,

For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.  2 Cor 5:1  NLT

Further scripture refence also speaks to our eternal life with Jesus following the death of our physical bodies.

 For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God.  1 Pet 1:23  NLT

How comforting to know where our loved ones have went following their physical death. Of course, I’m referring to those who had died knowing Jesus as their savior. At age 15, I had a lot of questions concerning where my father had gone when he died. My mother answered a lot of these questions. It is so important for people to know and understand why they need to give their lives to Jesus. He died for our sin and has given to us the free gift of salvation and His righteousness. That salvation is eternal and cannot be taken from us. Jesus tells us this in the gospel of John.

All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.  JN 6:37  NKJV

This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day. And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.”  JN 6:39-40   NKJV

And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.                             JN 10:28-29   NKJV

 There should never be any doubt concerning a Christian’s final destination following death.  So, what’s the requirement for admittance into heaven and eternal life with Jesus? It’s so simple; by accepting Jesus as savior and asking Him to forgive your sin. Believing in your heart He is Lord and has died in your place to pay the price for your sin. Believing He is alive; believing with sincerity in your heart He is who He says He is and believing He will save you if you simply call out to Him. Admitting to Him you are a sinner and need His forgiveness and saving grace. He turns no one away who knows in their heart they need to know Him as their savior. Of course, He can see right through those who are just looking for fire insurance.

So, what about those who die not knowing Jesus? Well, this is not good and many people refuse to accept it or believe it. We live in an anything goes culture. If they can’t see it, feel it or touch it, it can’t be true. Even in the midst of a pandemic, many refuse to adhere to wise instruction and flaunt their beliefs in the face of living danger. They will not listen to, let alone accept, the gospel message. If they die like this, what happens to them?

The Book of Life is a record of the names of every person who belongs to Jesus and knows Him as their Lord and savior. Each one of those names came to Jesus and asked for His forgiveness and He covered them with His righteousness, giving them a right standing before God the Father.

When they died, they were instantly in the presence of the Lord (as referenced earlier in 2 Cor 5). Chapter 20 of Revelation tells a sad story concerning all those who died not knowing Jesus or rejecting Him. Each of them is judged according to their works. Christians are not judged on their works for salvation purposes. We will be judged for our works but only according to what we did for Jesus and it does not determine our salvation or forgiveness of sin. Christ already paid that price and by accepting Him into our lives, we are granted entry to heaven and eternal life. Our names are written in the Book of Life.

But for those who will stand at the Great White Throne Judgement, their names are not found written in the Book of Life and will therefore be cast into the Lake of Fire to suffer eternally . These are referred to in this passage (20:11-15) as the dead. For the Christian who has died physically and went to be with the Lord, has life; there is no death in them because Jesus defeated death when He rose from the grave. But for these, the dead, there is no hope for life. They will suffer eternal death and suffering simply because they refused Jesus. It was each one of them not anyone else. They have no one to blame except themselves since they refused to accept Jesus as their savior.

So many people who are not saved and don’t know Jesus, always asked the same question, “How can a loving God send people to hell for eternal suffering?” God sends no one to hell; they made that decision for themselves when they rejected Jesus. They died in their sin; sin cannot stand in the presence of God. There is no place for sin in heaven or His presence. God’s desire is that no one should suffer and that all be saved but He will not force anyone to be saved. We either accept Jesus or reject Him and for those who reject Him and die without Him have determined their own fate to suffer for eternity. Is this what God wants? No.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.  “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.  JN 3:16-18

God the Father did not send His Son Jesus into the world to judge the world; He sent Him to bring salvation to the world by dying for their sin. So no, God does not want people to suffer in hell and He doesn’t send them there at death. But God cannot allow sin to stand in His presence and those who have not accepted Jesus and allowed Him to cleanse them of their sin cannot stand in His presence. Why argue the point when a person can simply accept Jesus as their savior and be forgiven? I firmly do believe many will never be saved and will reject Jesus with their dying breath. We know that to be true from the passage in Revelation 20. Another point concerning this is a person who had rejected Jesus their entire life would be miserable in the presence of God. If that was even possible, which it is not.

Have you ever tried talking to a skeptic, atheist or anyone who just doesn’t want to hear the gospel? They would be miserable in God’s presence. But we don’t stop telling people.

This is why it is so important to tell others about Jesus. We need not be afraid of ridicule or harassment. If our friends and family who don’t know Jesus die without Him, they will suffer for eternity. But for those who die knowing Him as their Lord and savior, they are in His presence the very next moment following their physical death. If you know someone who is not saved or doesn’t know Jesus as their savior, tell them and tell them again if they refuse.

We don’t want to use a scare tactic but they need to understand the seriousness of it all. Jesus provides comfort and forgiveness and this is what they need to understand. If they think their life is good, it will be so much better with Jesus. Sin is a serious thing; it is deceitful and cruel. It blinds us from the truth and from Jesus. But Jesus defeated death and sin at the cross and we just need to tell others about Him.

So, how do we face the death of a loved one? When they died knowing Jesus, we can take comfort in knowing they are with our Lord Jesus. We will miss them and we will hurt for a while but we know where they are and can envy them for being there with Jesus while we are still here in this world. But for those who die not knowing Jesus, it is a sad and painful time. As I have already explained, there is no hope and comfort. And for those left behind who also don’t know Jesus, they really are lost and cannot begin to understand what happens next. That is the perfect time to let them know about Jesus and His free gift of salvation.

At 15, I didn’t know anything about this stuff. But now, after over 36 years with Jesus, I have hope and comfort just knowing where my loved ones have gone and where my future destination is following my own physical death. I have eternal life with Jesus. Do you know Jesus as your savior? Have you thought about this thing called death and where you might be following it? Jesus is the answer.

Bill Petite