Who Are You Away From Church?

Have you ever wondered, on a Sunday morning, when you see people at Church, "Are they really this kind and friendly all the time?" I have known some Christians  by only seeing them in church and they always seemed so nice and pleasant only to find out at some point that was their church act. They only acted that way when they were among the church crowd on Sunday mornings or sometime during the week. So, that poses the question, "Who are you when you're away from the church crowd?"
When I was first saved and started to attend church services, I just thought everyone I met there was always as nice as they were at the church. Now, there were those Christians who were. They lived their lives as Jesus would want us to and the way He instructs us through His word. But, there were some who were putting on an act; their lives away from the church were anything but a fine example of a good Christian life.
If you could visit these people at their secular job sites, it would tell you a great deal of who they really are. I spent years on secular job sites and had thriving ministries at those job sites. But, I witnessed a lot of Jekyll and Hydes at those job sites. Such as, a person singing praises to the Lord on the platform on Sunday morning and cursing and swearing all throughout the work week. James summed it up this way when speaking about the tongue,

Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!  Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?  James 3:9-11

Attitudes can also be a tell all, concerning the conduct of a Christian away from other Christians. How do they respond to the boss when given a directive or when they are caught doing something other than what they are supposed to be doing? What is their attendance like? Are they often tardy? Do they sneak out early? Are they taking stuff from the job site for their personal use? Are they helpful to others in getting the job done? Do they make the attempt to get along with everyone and avoid conflict? These are just some questions which can apply to a Christian on a secular job site.
Integrity is so important; do what you say and say what you do. Don't lie to your boss when questioned about anything concerning the status of the assigned project. Honesty is so important and will go miles with most leaders even when the information you honestly provide is not what he/she wants to hear. I know, there will always be the boss who just is miserable and will scream and yell regardless how honest you are with them but, you were honest. Integrity will speak volumes about who you are and can always have the possibility of opening a door to tell someone about Jesus. If we are living our Christian lives on the job site in the way the Bible tells us, it will get the attention of non-believers. My first day on a job site, years ago, I saw how one man acted so much different than all the others. I wasn't saved, I didn't know Jesus as my savior but this man caught my eye because he wasn't acting like all the others. He was a Christian and he lived his life different than all those other guys who were setting a good example on how not to be a Christian.

What about in the home? Yes, this is a sore subject for a lot of Christians. A father with children is in the spot light all the time with his kids. Children are able to see right through us when we are not being on the up and up with them and around them. Children are very perceptive and can identify when we are saying one thing and doing another.
I remember hearing a story many years ago about a young man, about 15 years old, in a church where his father was an elder. So, the Bible lays out the requirements for elders and at church this father would display those requirements as being met. But, when a visiting evangelist spoke to the father in the presence of the son, he noticed the son had a look of disgust on his face. After speaking to the father and waiting for him to walk away, he asked the son why he had such a disapproving appearance on his face when he, the evangelist, had spoken to his father. The son replied by telling the evangelist that his praising of his father's work in the church was wrong because his father was a phony. The evangelist asked him why he would say that and the son told him that his father acts one way at the church but is a totally different person at home. He went on to tell the evangelist his father did not display the Christian character at home that he presented to everyone at the church and he had everyone in the church fooled except him.
Christian fathers, how do we act at home? Is it the same as we do when we are at the church? Now, I can speak from experience on this because I've been there. Not necessarily as in the case of the young man above but in other ways. There were responsibilities I would shirk in the home; responsibilities I should have been taking as the spiritual leader in my home. I was in church leadership in pastoral and elder roles but I was slipping at home. I would teach one thing but not do that one thing I was instructing other Christians to do. It's OK, Jesus got a hold of me and set me straight. There is always going to be something we might slip up on and that's not what I'm referring to. It's the, 'I'm one of the holiest people on planet earth' attitude at church and the, 'I'm the worst example of a Christian husband and father at home' reality to which I'm pointing out.
A man doesn't have to be in a leadership role at the church to fall into this trap. A Christian father has the responsibility of allowing his children to see Jesus in him. Don't take that lightly because it's a monster responsibility. So, fathers, how do you do this? You live your life the way the Bible tells us to live it. You read your Bible, seriously, not just as a show or to check a box on your list of Christian life habits. You pray and you pray for your children and with your children. Do family devotions with them and allow them to participate or ask questions. There is a lot of competition in this world for your kids. The devil will provide far too many worldly attractions for them if you don't step in and tell them about Jesus and allow them to see Him in your life. There is a great verse in Ephesians which speaks about this,

 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.  Eph 6:4

I have been speaking more to men in the previous few paragraphs but this also applies to mothers and wives also. As adults, mothers and fathers, it is our responsibility to allow our children to see Jesus through the way we live our lives. What do they see us watching on TV? There are so many other things in our daily lives which will influence our children in one way or another. The way we act at church needs to be seen by our children in the home. I have had Christian friends which had no variation at all in the way they lived their lives. It was such a blessing to visit with them in their homes and see the same people we knew from church. It was evident in their children and the way they conducted themselves. But, I also have had the experience of the opposite.
Again, it's not easy but Christianity is not easy. We have to work at it every day through prayer and Bible study. Allowing the Holy Spirit, who resides within us, to guide and direct us and to teach us.
There is a most famous word which the world is quick to throw out when they see Christians living two different lifestyles, hypocrite. And, they are right; the word in it's origin means actor. So, the final question is, "Are you an actor at church playing a role?" Don't be an actor at church; be the same person at home as you are in church, be the same person on the job as you are in church and be the same person wherever you are as you are in church. Allow the world to see Jesus through you.

-Bill Petite