Dictators In Ministry
Bill Petite July 30, 2017
Before I was saved, when I heard the word dictator, I always thought of a leader of a third world country. As a young, or immature, Christian, I would have never associated the word dictator to a Christian leader or pastor. But, I would soon learn they existed; I discovered first hand there are leaders and pastors who rule their congregations and staff much in the same way a dictator rules and lords over a third world country. This is a topic that can be and is controversial and sensitive to write about from a personal perspective and experience. But enough time has elapsed since the time concerning the examples I will use.
Webster defines the word dictator as follows: A ruler with absolute power and authority, one who exercises it tyrannically.
I'm sure most of us are familiar with a few national leaders who have fit this role in recent years. But how many have had to sit under this type of leadership in the a local church? I have had friends who were involved in churches which fell under the type of leadership known as "Shepherding." These guys couldn't make a simple move in their lives without getting permission from the pastor. They were all given the title of pastor but never really had any part in the pastoral duties of the church. They worked Monday through Friday at a secular job and then had to be at the church all day Saturday really doing nothing of significance. If they wanted a Saturday off to go somewhere with their family, it had to be approved by the senior pastor and many times it was not! It was easier to get a day off at their secular job than it was to not show on a Saturday at the church! And, they had to be available all day Sunday. This is an example of extreme ministry dictatorship and I knew guys suffering from it in more than one church.
The apostle Paul wrote the pastoral letters to Timothy and Titus in which he encouraged them in ways to teach, lead, rebuke and refute the teachings of false leaders. But, the one thing which is not found in these instructions is how to be a dictator! Nowhere in these books are the instructions on how to rule with an iron fist or how to rule with authority in a tyrannical manner.
After being a Christian of about eight years, I was blessed to be a part of a church plant. It was pure joy to be able to be involved in this type of work for Jesus. I was part of a group which had been meeting for a Friday night Bible study. The group was growing and continued to grow and we began praying about what the Lord would have us do next. We really wanted the Lord to grow this into a church and so we began to pray strongly about that very thing. We then sought council and guidance from the pastors at the church we were attending. With the insight from that guidance and with the Lord beginning to open doors, we began to pursue a Sunday morning church ministry work. The Lord put everything in place for us and before we knew it, we were having our first Sunday morning service. It was clear that the Lord had chosen the Bible study teacher/leader as the senior pastor. This was fine by me and I was just super blessed to be a part of this work.
I clearly remember the first leader's meeting we had. There were only three of us, the pastor and two of us as elders. The pastor made a crystal clear statement, "We are all here under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I'm the pastor but I will not be a dictator. We will all make our decisions under the guidance of the Spirit." Those words stuck in my mind. I had never imagined this pastor as a dictator and assumed he was just clearing the air. I never saw any signs, as a Bible study leader, that he was a dictator. But, as time went on, I began to see a different person.
Early on in this ministry, I didn't notice any overbearing type of leadership. It came on slowly and in a subtle manner. But as time went on, I began to see the dictator come out in this pastor and it was evident what was happening. At this time there were only two of us leading this church since the other elder had quietly resigned his position and left the church. I don't know what the dispute was, didn't want to know and only knew there was a strong disagreement between him and the pastor. My thoughts always were, "I'm working for you Lord." So, I refused to allow any side distractions take my eyes off of what I was doing for Jesus.
But, that wouldn't last very long. There were friends of mine who began to leave for various personal reasons. I would ask and they would say something to the effect of, "Well, we just can't stay here any longer because of personal reasons." (I would find out later what some of those reasons were) Well, this attitude of dictatorship finally attacked me on a personal level. Early in the ministry of this church, I had opened the church on Friday evenings to those who might have suffered or were suffering from any type of addiction or recovery process. Now, Jesus had saved me from alcohol addiction, clear and free. When I was saved, Jesus removed any and all cravings for booze! So, I wasn't sure how to approach this type of ministry other than to teach the Bible. As it turned out, nobody ever showed up. I would sit in the church, by myself, for about an hour and then close up and leave. I told the senior pastor we needed to stop this attempt and wait for God to direct us further. He agreed. But, about two years later, he brought up the idea again. By this time, it was clear to me the Lord did not want me involved in any type of recovery program or Bible study for addicts. It just wasn't my calling. But, this pastor refused to hear that and told me I would do it! Sitting across the table from him in a public restaurant, I got up and walked out on him. I wasn't going to be a part of this display to anyone else in that public setting. The church already had enough of a bad rap about many things and I didn't want to give anyone the opportunity to use this as another reason to slam the church and God. So, without saying another word, I simply got up, took my wife by her arm and we walked out. I was totally upset by the fact that it was more important to this guy to have this type of ministry in the church than it was to follow the leading of Jesus and what He wanted us to do. I just couldn't get it through to him I wasn't called to this type of ministry. This was my first taste of the dictator who was the pastor of this church. Outside the restaurant, I heard his wife say to him, "Come on, let's pray." His reply was amazing to me, "No! I'm too angry to pray right now!" Wow! That spoke volumes to me. Too angry to pray is a serious problem for any spiritual leader or every day Christian. We left and I prayed for the whole situation.
I can give one other example. We had planned to have a small book store on site at the church and my wife and I took the lead on making all the preparations. We ordered all the books and CDs and the other small items we wanted to make available. We had secured shelving for the items and were ready to put it all together. I was sitting in an elders meeting with the pastor and one other elder. The pastor mentioned the book store (we were meeting in the very room which would be the bookstore) and looked directly at me and said, "The bookstore will be operated by my mother-in-law and I don't want to hear anything about it!" I felt like I had been punched right in the gut! He knew my wife and I had been working on this and we were ready to open and run the bookstore. I didn't hear a word that was said after that. Then, there were the times he accused my son of sharing marijuana with another boy on the way to Sunday youth meeting and then blaming him for the resignation of the youth leader. He told me, in front of the youth leader and the other elder, he was a disruption and forced the youth leader to quit. Again, I couldn't listen to anymore of this nonsense and I got up and walked out. As I was leaving, his words were something like, "Don't you walk out on me! You already did that once and I won't tolerate it again!" I continued out the door. The youth leader was quitting because he was having an affair with a women he worked with and couldn't stand the conviction but it was my son's fault. (My son was not an angel by any means but I was able to disprove all accusations) I was at a point where I couldn't take this type of dictatorship any longer. I didn't feel blessed to be involved anymore. That joy I had from doing God's work was over shadowed by the burden of dealing with this type of leadership. There were so many other events I encountered like this while involved in this work but I'll not share them. I don't want this to sound like a pity party for me. I simply wanted to continue doing God's work and serve His people in what ever way I needed to. I loved serving the people and doing what the Lord would lead me to do but it all was too soon becoming a burden due to the dictatorship of this pastor.
I soon began to understand why so many people were leaving. These were good God fearing people who could no longer tolerate this type of leadership. There were personal attacks and false accusations (like the marijuana accusation for example). There were petty arguments over silly stuff. The ego of this guy was bigger than the building; he and his family had to be the center of all attention and ministry. It just got worse as time went on. There was a pastor from another church who sat on our church board. This was done so there would be a trusted outsider who could see problems we insiders couldn't. He attempted to tell this pastor where he was messing up but there was no listening to this outside pastor. Finally, after a conversation with a close Christian friend, I decided I needed to resign my position and I did. I handed the senior pastor my letter of resignation after a Sunday service and felt total relief.
In his book on Biblical Eldership, Alexander Strauch makes this statement, "Thus a shepherd must be gentle, stable, sound-minded and uncontentious. An angry, hotheaded man hurts people. So, an elder must not have a dictatorial spirit or be quick tempered, pugnacious or self willed."*
After I left this church, I would receive phone calls and email messages from people asking me for advice on how to deal with situations they were encountering with him. I would simply tell them to talk to him and I couldn't tell them anything else because I didn't know the situation. I did tell them if talking to him didn't solve the problems then move on. There were countless numbers of questions like this after I left. I would see people in stores or somewhere in public who had attended this church and they would start to tell me their experiences and why they had to leave.
There is no place for a dictator like this in God's ministry and sadly, there are so many who are. Prayer is the answer. We have to keep these guys in prayer and ask that He would change their hearts or remove them and stop the abuse of Christians under their realm of servanthood.
This is just my own personal experience. This is not an indictment of this particular pastor, although some might interpret in that way. I used these examples in order to point out some of the ways a dictator might come across or act. These are nothing more than examples of truth which can help those who might be under this type of church leadership right now. I think, in my opinion, all pastors have a tiny bit of dictator in them but not to the point it is damaging. I would also ask that just because you have a disagreement with your pastor, you don't label him as a dictator. Read again the definition by Webster and compare to the following quote from Peter and spend some time in prayer. It is certain that a pastor who is a dictator can damage and hut Christians under his leadership. I have witnessed this firsthand. But it can be damaging to a pastor to wrongly accuse him also. Peter in his first letter tells the elders how to lead,
Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor. 1 Pet 5:2-4
Before I was saved, when I heard the word dictator, I always thought of a leader of a third world country. As a young, or immature, Christian, I would have never associated the word dictator to a Christian leader or pastor. But, I would soon learn they existed; I discovered first hand there are leaders and pastors who rule their congregations and staff much in the same way a dictator rules and lords over a third world country. This is a topic that can be and is controversial and sensitive to write about from a personal perspective and experience. But enough time has elapsed since the time concerning the examples I will use.
Webster defines the word dictator as follows: A ruler with absolute power and authority, one who exercises it tyrannically.
I'm sure most of us are familiar with a few national leaders who have fit this role in recent years. But how many have had to sit under this type of leadership in the a local church? I have had friends who were involved in churches which fell under the type of leadership known as "Shepherding." These guys couldn't make a simple move in their lives without getting permission from the pastor. They were all given the title of pastor but never really had any part in the pastoral duties of the church. They worked Monday through Friday at a secular job and then had to be at the church all day Saturday really doing nothing of significance. If they wanted a Saturday off to go somewhere with their family, it had to be approved by the senior pastor and many times it was not! It was easier to get a day off at their secular job than it was to not show on a Saturday at the church! And, they had to be available all day Sunday. This is an example of extreme ministry dictatorship and I knew guys suffering from it in more than one church.
The apostle Paul wrote the pastoral letters to Timothy and Titus in which he encouraged them in ways to teach, lead, rebuke and refute the teachings of false leaders. But, the one thing which is not found in these instructions is how to be a dictator! Nowhere in these books are the instructions on how to rule with an iron fist or how to rule with authority in a tyrannical manner.
After being a Christian of about eight years, I was blessed to be a part of a church plant. It was pure joy to be able to be involved in this type of work for Jesus. I was part of a group which had been meeting for a Friday night Bible study. The group was growing and continued to grow and we began praying about what the Lord would have us do next. We really wanted the Lord to grow this into a church and so we began to pray strongly about that very thing. We then sought council and guidance from the pastors at the church we were attending. With the insight from that guidance and with the Lord beginning to open doors, we began to pursue a Sunday morning church ministry work. The Lord put everything in place for us and before we knew it, we were having our first Sunday morning service. It was clear that the Lord had chosen the Bible study teacher/leader as the senior pastor. This was fine by me and I was just super blessed to be a part of this work.
I clearly remember the first leader's meeting we had. There were only three of us, the pastor and two of us as elders. The pastor made a crystal clear statement, "We are all here under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I'm the pastor but I will not be a dictator. We will all make our decisions under the guidance of the Spirit." Those words stuck in my mind. I had never imagined this pastor as a dictator and assumed he was just clearing the air. I never saw any signs, as a Bible study leader, that he was a dictator. But, as time went on, I began to see a different person.
Early on in this ministry, I didn't notice any overbearing type of leadership. It came on slowly and in a subtle manner. But as time went on, I began to see the dictator come out in this pastor and it was evident what was happening. At this time there were only two of us leading this church since the other elder had quietly resigned his position and left the church. I don't know what the dispute was, didn't want to know and only knew there was a strong disagreement between him and the pastor. My thoughts always were, "I'm working for you Lord." So, I refused to allow any side distractions take my eyes off of what I was doing for Jesus.
But, that wouldn't last very long. There were friends of mine who began to leave for various personal reasons. I would ask and they would say something to the effect of, "Well, we just can't stay here any longer because of personal reasons." (I would find out later what some of those reasons were) Well, this attitude of dictatorship finally attacked me on a personal level. Early in the ministry of this church, I had opened the church on Friday evenings to those who might have suffered or were suffering from any type of addiction or recovery process. Now, Jesus had saved me from alcohol addiction, clear and free. When I was saved, Jesus removed any and all cravings for booze! So, I wasn't sure how to approach this type of ministry other than to teach the Bible. As it turned out, nobody ever showed up. I would sit in the church, by myself, for about an hour and then close up and leave. I told the senior pastor we needed to stop this attempt and wait for God to direct us further. He agreed. But, about two years later, he brought up the idea again. By this time, it was clear to me the Lord did not want me involved in any type of recovery program or Bible study for addicts. It just wasn't my calling. But, this pastor refused to hear that and told me I would do it! Sitting across the table from him in a public restaurant, I got up and walked out on him. I wasn't going to be a part of this display to anyone else in that public setting. The church already had enough of a bad rap about many things and I didn't want to give anyone the opportunity to use this as another reason to slam the church and God. So, without saying another word, I simply got up, took my wife by her arm and we walked out. I was totally upset by the fact that it was more important to this guy to have this type of ministry in the church than it was to follow the leading of Jesus and what He wanted us to do. I just couldn't get it through to him I wasn't called to this type of ministry. This was my first taste of the dictator who was the pastor of this church. Outside the restaurant, I heard his wife say to him, "Come on, let's pray." His reply was amazing to me, "No! I'm too angry to pray right now!" Wow! That spoke volumes to me. Too angry to pray is a serious problem for any spiritual leader or every day Christian. We left and I prayed for the whole situation.
I can give one other example. We had planned to have a small book store on site at the church and my wife and I took the lead on making all the preparations. We ordered all the books and CDs and the other small items we wanted to make available. We had secured shelving for the items and were ready to put it all together. I was sitting in an elders meeting with the pastor and one other elder. The pastor mentioned the book store (we were meeting in the very room which would be the bookstore) and looked directly at me and said, "The bookstore will be operated by my mother-in-law and I don't want to hear anything about it!" I felt like I had been punched right in the gut! He knew my wife and I had been working on this and we were ready to open and run the bookstore. I didn't hear a word that was said after that. Then, there were the times he accused my son of sharing marijuana with another boy on the way to Sunday youth meeting and then blaming him for the resignation of the youth leader. He told me, in front of the youth leader and the other elder, he was a disruption and forced the youth leader to quit. Again, I couldn't listen to anymore of this nonsense and I got up and walked out. As I was leaving, his words were something like, "Don't you walk out on me! You already did that once and I won't tolerate it again!" I continued out the door. The youth leader was quitting because he was having an affair with a women he worked with and couldn't stand the conviction but it was my son's fault. (My son was not an angel by any means but I was able to disprove all accusations) I was at a point where I couldn't take this type of dictatorship any longer. I didn't feel blessed to be involved anymore. That joy I had from doing God's work was over shadowed by the burden of dealing with this type of leadership. There were so many other events I encountered like this while involved in this work but I'll not share them. I don't want this to sound like a pity party for me. I simply wanted to continue doing God's work and serve His people in what ever way I needed to. I loved serving the people and doing what the Lord would lead me to do but it all was too soon becoming a burden due to the dictatorship of this pastor.
I soon began to understand why so many people were leaving. These were good God fearing people who could no longer tolerate this type of leadership. There were personal attacks and false accusations (like the marijuana accusation for example). There were petty arguments over silly stuff. The ego of this guy was bigger than the building; he and his family had to be the center of all attention and ministry. It just got worse as time went on. There was a pastor from another church who sat on our church board. This was done so there would be a trusted outsider who could see problems we insiders couldn't. He attempted to tell this pastor where he was messing up but there was no listening to this outside pastor. Finally, after a conversation with a close Christian friend, I decided I needed to resign my position and I did. I handed the senior pastor my letter of resignation after a Sunday service and felt total relief.
In his book on Biblical Eldership, Alexander Strauch makes this statement, "Thus a shepherd must be gentle, stable, sound-minded and uncontentious. An angry, hotheaded man hurts people. So, an elder must not have a dictatorial spirit or be quick tempered, pugnacious or self willed."*
After I left this church, I would receive phone calls and email messages from people asking me for advice on how to deal with situations they were encountering with him. I would simply tell them to talk to him and I couldn't tell them anything else because I didn't know the situation. I did tell them if talking to him didn't solve the problems then move on. There were countless numbers of questions like this after I left. I would see people in stores or somewhere in public who had attended this church and they would start to tell me their experiences and why they had to leave.
There is no place for a dictator like this in God's ministry and sadly, there are so many who are. Prayer is the answer. We have to keep these guys in prayer and ask that He would change their hearts or remove them and stop the abuse of Christians under their realm of servanthood.
This is just my own personal experience. This is not an indictment of this particular pastor, although some might interpret in that way. I used these examples in order to point out some of the ways a dictator might come across or act. These are nothing more than examples of truth which can help those who might be under this type of church leadership right now. I think, in my opinion, all pastors have a tiny bit of dictator in them but not to the point it is damaging. I would also ask that just because you have a disagreement with your pastor, you don't label him as a dictator. Read again the definition by Webster and compare to the following quote from Peter and spend some time in prayer. It is certain that a pastor who is a dictator can damage and hut Christians under his leadership. I have witnessed this firsthand. But it can be damaging to a pastor to wrongly accuse him also. Peter in his first letter tells the elders how to lead,
Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor. 1 Pet 5:2-4
*Biblical Eldership, Alexander Strauch, pg. 22
posted by Bill @ 9:31 AM
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